Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Beach Baby

Patrick adores the beach! He loves to talk to sand (and eat a little of it) he loves to kick and splash in the ocean, and he loves being adored by his family.

It is just so much fun to do anything new with him because he always enjoys himself. He's such a curious, adventurous, fearless little guy. I could certainly learn a thing or two from him =)

The coolest thing was this awesome floating contraption his GmaD got for him. It allows him to float safely in the water and kick and play to his heart's content. Just holding him gets tricky because he squirms so much, he wants to swim all my himself. So the floaty thing is perfect!

I can't wait to go back this upcoming weekend and see what fantastically adorable things he does!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Baby Babbles

I have realized that once babies can make noise, the only time they are quiet is when they are asleep.
Or is that just my little monster?

My day is filled with delightful little sounds and laughter...and the occasional sobs and screams...oh yeah...and the screeches. It usually takes me a moment to realize there is no baby sound when he has fallen asleep.

I never knew babies are so noisy =)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Moms are FEARLESS!

I was sharing some thoughts with a friend of mine today, who has some fears about making a big decision for her baby.

I remember having those same fears. It seems the fears keep on coming because I have all new ones now. I have a feeling all moms do. But while writing her I realized that once a decision was made, I never backed down - and that is pretty fearless!

I've had moments here and there in my life where I've been a bit fearless, but never so much as I have now that I am a mother. I often feel like a mother bear with her cub.
Unless there is an immediate threat, it takes me time to actually reach the point of being fearless...I will go back and forth on an issue, research until my eyes fall out (not really of course, I need those eyes to see what the baby is getting into!) I will ask the opinions and advice of others until I make them all crazy...but once I finally decide something...nothing will make me back down! And no one can intimidate me or make me feel bad about my choice.

I am not a traditional girl, and many of the choices I made (and will make) for Patrick are considered at least a bit weird by quite a few people...but I don't care! I know in my heart that I am making the right choices (since I researched them to death) and nothing will sway me!

Maybe that is the key to being a fearless mother - after all, knowledge is power!
My advice to moms would be to inform yourself so you make knowledgeable decisions, trust your instincts, and tell anyone who is rude to you about your choices to kiss your baby's poopy diaper!
As long as you are well informed and full of love for that little baby, you can trust that you are making the right choices for your child, and don't ever let anyone try and tell you otherwise!

That is not to say that there isn't always more to learn, and good advice to listen to...but we all know there is a big difference between kind words meant to help and guide, and rude people trying to force their often unknowledgeable opinions on you.

When the naysayers start their nay-saying...just remember...you are a mom...you are FEARLESS!

Ya know...now that I think about it...this seems to apply to women in general =)

Monday, August 16, 2010

Baby Update!

Patrick did wonderfully at his 9 month checkup today!

He is 23lbs and 30 inches long/tall!
He got one little shot today (God I hate those) but he didn't even cry!

And the doc said he's just perfect. Yup, truer words were never spoken!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

9 Months of Plumpkin Fun!

Patrick is 9 months old today! I can hardly believe it. In just 3 months we will be celebrating his very first birthday! How time flies...

He keeps trying to stand all on his own, without anything to lean against. I think he will be walking soon. Walking!!! If I think he's a handful now...I can't even imagine how much I'll be chasing him around once he's walking!

And I wonder when he will start really talking? What will his first word be?

Right now he waves at cats, dogs, my mom, and stuffed animals and shouts "Buhuh!"
He crawls like a pro and loves to be chased.
He's eating finger foods, and loves food with texture. Ok, he just loves food period. =)

His little world is full of wonder and adventure and fun things to discover. I hope that never changes.

Monday, August 9, 2010


Funny how little monster kisses can make everything better...and worthwhile.

Bad Mommy Moment

I am having a "horrible mother" moment. My sweet little guy woke up from his nap about 10 minutes ago. He's crying. I need to go get him. But I just don't have the strength. I feel drained, sad, broken...overwhelmed...so I am writing...sometimes this is just too hard. I have the most wonderful baby in the world, and sometimes I look at him and I just want to cry. Not because I am sad that I have him...but because I am sad that the things I wanted for him were not meant to be, really, the things I wanted for us. And not being able to share every experience with the person who helped me make the most amazing little creature to ever grace the earth, is heartbreaking.
And sometimes I have these little moments where I just do not want to be a grownup!

He's still crying...
I really should go to him and comfort him. But the little girl in me is screaming "What about ME!? Who's going to comfort me!?"
If being a mother is often a tough and thankless job...being a single mother is all that, and damned lonely to boot!


Ok. Mini mommy temper-tantrum is over...time to go squish a baby. Sometimes comfort is found in the comforting.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I Panic, therefore I am Mom

Last night I woke up at 2am in a panic. The baby was happily asleep. I had had a particularly upsetting, all too real feeling, dream. It took me hours to calm myself down.
But during that time I ran through the gamut of mommy fears. Is it strange how terrified I am of anything bad happening to Patrick? I mean really terrified. I imagine it is a normal thing. But it doesn't feel normal.
I am trying to not let my fears affect the baby. Like my insane fear of him choking on finger foods and chunkier purees. He needs these things...but they scare me so much!

Am I going to spend my life with this awful fear? I am sure it'll be in the background most of the time, but always there...

I just want so much for him to have a long, wonderful, happy life. I want him to be healthy, and strong, and grow up to be a wonderful man. I want him to enjoy as much of his life as possible. I guess all I can really do is do my very best to make that happen, and then have some faith. Thank goodness I have some help in this too!

This might just be the hardest part of being a mom...even harder than poopy diapers and temper tantrums!
Though, admittedly, the temper tantrums are pretty cute.