I am having a "horrible mother" moment. My sweet little guy woke up from his nap about 10 minutes ago. He's crying. I need to go get him. But I just don't have the strength. I feel drained, sad, broken...overwhelmed...so I am writing...sometimes this is just too hard. I have the most wonderful baby in the world, and sometimes I look at him and I just want to cry. Not because I am sad that I have him...but because I am sad that the things I wanted for him were not meant to be, really, the things I wanted for us. And not being able to share every experience with the person who helped me make the most amazing little creature to ever grace the earth, is heartbreaking.
And sometimes I have these little moments where I just do not want to be a grownup!
He's still crying...
I really should go to him and comfort him. But the little girl in me is screaming "What about ME!? Who's going to comfort me!?"
If being a mother is often a tough and thankless job...being a single mother is all that, and damned lonely to boot!
*sigh*
Ok. Mini mommy temper-tantrum is over...time to go squish a baby. Sometimes comfort is found in the comforting.
Monday, August 9, 2010
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