Last night I woke up at 2am in a panic. The baby was happily asleep. I had had a particularly upsetting, all too real feeling, dream. It took me hours to calm myself down.
But during that time I ran through the gamut of mommy fears. Is it strange how terrified I am of anything bad happening to Patrick? I mean really terrified. I imagine it is a normal thing. But it doesn't feel normal.
I am trying to not let my fears affect the baby. Like my insane fear of him choking on finger foods and chunkier purees. He needs these things...but they scare me so much!
Am I going to spend my life with this awful fear? I am sure it'll be in the background most of the time, but always there...
I just want so much for him to have a long, wonderful, happy life. I want him to be healthy, and strong, and grow up to be a wonderful man. I want him to enjoy as much of his life as possible. I guess all I can really do is do my very best to make that happen, and then have some faith. Thank goodness I have some help in this too!
This might just be the hardest part of being a mom...even harder than poopy diapers and temper tantrums!
Though, admittedly, the temper tantrums are pretty cute.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comments:
I think it's pretty normal, especially for a new mom. I don't think it will always be as bad, at least if it was my mom hid it really well. You're a stellar mom, and Patrick is and will continue to be wonderful.
Post a Comment