4 Months a Mommy

Patrick is 4 months old. Obviously this means that I have been a mommy for 4 months. I enjoy being a mommy. I actually really do. But, I feel very unmotivated, unfocused and a bit lost. Sometimes I find myself wondering "Now what?"

I spent 9 (10) months being pregnant and preparing for the baby, 14 hours bringing the baby into the world, and now, 4 months later...now what?

Of course there is a huge focus on Patrick, taking care of him and snuggling him like crazy. But what about me? The thing is, I have no idea! My wonderful acupuncturist has said that I need to find things to do just for myself, and I need to give the baby to other people to take care of. I thought those would be easy tasks, but they are not.

So now I need to figure out what I want to do. That has never been easy for me, and nearing 30, I really should have an idea shouldn't I?

It's funny to think I have been me for almost 30 years and have no idea what to do with myself, but I have been a mommy for only 4 months and seem to be doing that really well.