Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sandi Who?

Sometimes I worry that I will lose myself. Having lost myself before I know how subtle and trecherous that path can be. It is tiny little things here and there and next thing you know you turn around and you are not Sandi (or whatever your name might be) you are "so and so's mommy" You no pictures of yourself anywhere, only pictures of your child/children. Your significant other doesn't even call you by your own name anymore, or those cute pet names...you are just "mommy" or "hun". Oh how I hate being called "hun"

But these are small things...the worst part about losing yourself is that your dreams no longer seem as important, your goals for yourself dont even exist to you anymore. You start to make friends with other mommies who all dress the same and all talk about their children and their husbands...they do not discuss thier hopes and dreams, how to juggle a child and a career or education, how to be a mommy and still be YOU...

it scares me.
I don't want to wake up one day and say "Sandi Who?"

1 comments:

ThingsTreasured said...

Oh sweety, I can so relate. I think the important thing is to acknowledge those fears though. I think it would be more dangerous to push them aside and think oh thats silly... You know? Lot's of new parents do make friends with other new parents.. there is common ground to talk about... but I also know that you are both such unique wonderful people that you won't lose the connections you already have. I mean look at it this way... you and I.. will ALWAYS talk about our dreams. I will never let you forget about the Book Of Sandi.. promise. :)