7 Weeks

I don't feel much different...though I have noticed I've been a bit moodier...ok..bitchier really.  I am so so tired all the time. I am lucky that so far I've not been very sick. I'll feel a bit queasy in the morning and evening usually, and during the afternoon it seems better...but then some days its just there all day long. 

There has been alot going on and I've been stressing out...then getting stressed stresses me out...completely counterproductive I know. It is very hard ot break that cycle.

I am hoping that this weekend I can recoup a little bit and get things figured out. That would really help so so so much.

I've started worrying about weird things...like "will my baby be ugly?" "will I have a safe pregnancy?" "will my baby be healthy?" "will I be ok if it is a boy?" "will I ever get to do all those things I dreamt of doing but never got around to?" "should I really do cloth diapers?" "are we ever going to have money?" "will I be able to get cute maternity T-shirts?"

All that and more...some very vain and superficial stuff, and some very important. 

I've also started having some weird dreams. No ex boyfriends, as I have read often happen in the beginning stages. But then, I really did get rid of most of that baggage a while ago. Nope, my dreams are weird chaotic symbolic messages that I can't quite decipher.

I am still waiting on being able to tell a few close friends before I spread the word near and far. Hopefully, next weekend I'll be able to announce it to the world...and maybe by then it'll start seeming just a teeny bit less surreal? Though, I do doubt that...