Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Holiday Expectations

Here is it December 22nd and we still have not decorated for Christmas, I don't even have cards and most gifts yet, and we went and bought cookies because making them this year just seemed like insanity.

So much for my perfect first Christmas with the baby.

I keep trying to remind myself that 1. He won't remember it and 2. I just had a baby and can't be expected to dish out a Christmas of fabulousness and extreme domestic awesomeness...maybe next year...

But I still feel bummed, and like I am failing somehow. I wanted to get cards out with a cute little family photo (I still have not sent out thank yous from my baby showers), I wanted to have decorations everywhere to enjoy for weeks, I want to make gifts, I wanted to bake the most spectacular cookies the world has ever seen...I don't know what I was thinking. I have never done all that in previous years. I don't know what made me think I could do it now with a new and very demanding baby, when I can barley get laundry done during the week.

Still, it is a disappointment. I just so wanted to have the perfect first Christmas as a family.
I am probably putting way too much pressure on myself. I was just so excited about Christmas with the baby.

Just another example of my expectations not being super realistic.

So what can I do about all of this?
Well, I really did want to do Christmas cards. They will just be late. And tag along with thank yous maybe. We bought cookies. Maybe we will bake New Year's cookies?
And decorating? Well, in Germany you don't actually decorate until the 24th. Considering the fact that my poor husband is sick right now anyways, perhaps that isn't such a bad thing, waiting a few days so he can enjoy it too.
I have a feeling once Christmas actually hits, it'll be super special regardless of the lack of decor the store bought cookies, and everything else. Having those things, or not having them, does not change the fact that this is our first Christmas with the baby, which makes it pretty darn specail all on its own.

Now...if I can just convince that crazy little domestic goddess wanna-be in my head...