Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Nightmares and Miracles

I love reading stories about miracle babies/children. Like the one about the little boy who received the special hearing aid and heard his mothers voice for the first time. Those things bring tears to my eyes and just warm my heart. I could watch videos and read stories like that all day long...

But there is a dark side to the miracle stories...and that is the accident stories. I try to avoid the ones with bad outcomes, but even the ones with good outcomes, like one with a little boy who survived an internal decapitation (I know, doesn't it just make you cringe inside?) Just terrify me. Because the thing about miracles is that...they are not common things. If they were, they would not be called miracles now would they?
And it makes me so afraid to get in a car with my son. And it definitely makes me terrified of driving...even more than I was before.

I used to have only one ultimate fear...dying. Now I have two. I bet you can guess what my second fear is.

SO people post these stories about babies in accidents...and my heart plummets and my skin goes cold. And I am afraid.

And I see these idiots out on the road, driving like morons just because they want to get some where 5 seconds faster, texting, and being otherwise distracted...and I am afraid. And it also makes me angry. "Accidents" almost are not even accidents anymore. They are "Avoidables" because, had everyone been doing what they should (i.e. paying attention to the road and being sober) most accidents wouldn't happen. Doesn't anyone care about their own safety and the safety of others? Or at the very least, the safety of children!? It really is terrifying. And the stories, even with good outcomes, don't make it better.

I posted a while ago about mothers being fearless. I never thought you could be both fearless and utterly afraid. But you can.

I do believe in miracles. And I love to read about them. But the accident ones just chill me to the core. They frighten me completely.
Because anything bad happening to my own little miracle...is my worst nightmare.

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